Things

“It’s mine. My own. My precious.”

I’ve always cringed when Gollum said those words. I mean really, who could be so possessed by a simple band of gold? And yet, most men seem to have an obsession with possessions.

This month, I’ve been working my way through A. W. Tozer’s The Pursuit of God. This has been a more incredible and challenging read than I ever thought it would be when I downloaded it on my Kindle App (it’s free if you want to get it yourself). I expected to be reading the words of another stuffy old preacher. Instead, I found words that spoke to my very core. Tozer spoke of a longing that has been within my heart from a very young age. That longing to pursue the things of God.

One particular chapter really resonated this month, the chapter about man’s obsession with things. Tozer pointed out that God had made things to be “external and subservient to man.” The heart of man was reserved for God alone. Then sin entered the world and man’s relationship with things went all screwy. Now things fight for the throne within our hearts that only belongs to God. I nodded my head at what Tozer had to say and spent time in prayer discussing with God all the things (and even people) that fight for my heart. Apparently I missed one.

A couple of months ago, an email was sent around asking for volunteers to lead music at a conference. I heartily volunteered not only to come, but to bring my own guitar. I absolutely love to sing, and occasionally play the guitar as well. However, I was a bit flustered when the conference organizer emailed me this month asking questions about my guitar, including: “Would you be happy for others to play your guitar?” Uh, no. Happy does not even begin to enter the picture when others play my guitar. I honestly have no idea why that is. Tozer had some words for it though. He begs in a prayer that God would root out the things that had become so much a part of himself. As I searched for words that appropriately expressed my misgivings about loaning out my guitar, to explain how my guitar was part of me, the Spirit whispered quietly, “This is one of those Things.” My hands fell from the keyboard in shock as I considered what I had just written and what the Spirit had said in response. I couldn’t help but say, “You’re right.” Now the dilemma. What do I send in the email? Do I continue with my plans to possess my own guitar, or do I let go of something that was never really mine to begin with, that God might use it through others to continue to display his glory? Let’s get real, it’s not much of a choice for someone like me, busy pursuing the one who pursued me first. I emailed that I would allow others to play my guitar. I kept my comments on happiness to myself. That’s something God will keep having to work in me. Baby steps.